Parents who refuse to adopt the responsibility for disciplining their children think they can just opt out of the conflict necessary for proper child-rearing. They avoid being the bad guy (in the short term). But they do not at all rescue or protect their children from fear and pain. Quite the contrary: the judgemental and uncaring broader social world will mete out conflict and punishment far greater than that which would have been delivered by an awake parent. You can discipline your children, or you can turn that responsibility over to the harsh, uncaring, judgmental world – and the motivation for the latter decision should never be confused with love.

…

Parents have duty to act as proxies for the real world – merciful proxies, caring proxies – but proxies nonetheless. This obligation supersedes any responsibility to ensure happiness, foster creativity, or boost self-esteem. It is the primary duty of parents to make their children socially desirable. That will provide the child with opportunity, self-regard, and security. It’s more important even than fostering individual identity.

Jordan B. Peterson, 12 Rules for Life

You know what this makes me think?

The problem with parenting in contemporary societies is simply the absent parent.

Disciplining children requires us to be physically and mentally with our children so that we are there when our kids navigate the boundaries of their world and instruct/discipline where necessary. We have to be prepared to spend time, attention and effort to interact with our children – all at the expense of our personal time and aspirations.

We simply can’t farm out disciplining children to kindergarten teachers or maids – they either don’t have the vested interest or the rightful authority to discipline.